You’ve seen them. Those seemingly happy couples who drive around with their stick figure family plastered on the back of their cars as a testament to the coveted white picket all is right with the world family life that they are living. And then BAM, one day seemingly out of the blue you find out that they are getting a divorce. *Gasp!* How could that be?
Not too long ago, I was a part of one of those couples. (Stick figure family and all.) From the outside looking in it appeared that I woke up one day and just as simply as some people decide what to make for dinner that night, I decided to get a divorce. Unless you were in my very inner circle you were not aware of any marital discontent as I am not one of those people who posts every detail of my life on Facebook, Twitter or even my blog. (Hard to believe, I know.) And like most major life decisions, it didn’t happen overnight.
Now don’t start thinking that this is going to be a big reveal all post. I won’t ever go down that road. But I think it is important for people to realize that divorce happens and that it is okay to talk about it.
My husband and I met each other when we were very young. I was 20 and he was 19. My 20 year old self thought that I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted / needed in my life. The 33 year old present version of myself laughs at how wrong that 20 year old was. I did a lot of growing and changing in the past 13 years. And my husband did as well. Ultimately we didn’t grow in the same direction and that isn’t the fault of either of us. During those years we both made lots of relationship mistakes as well. Some mistakes were bigger than others and some mistakes taught us what we could move beyond and what couldn’t be overcome.
I would never try to lead you to believe that at 33 I have it all figured out either. But I definitely have become a truer and more self-fulfilled version of myself who has learned to place my own happiness at the top of my to do list. Some may call it selfish. I call it being true to myself and being cognizant that life is too short to live with regret or unhappiness.