Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about boundaries.
Some boundaries are good to push past. Like the boundaries that you give yourself that limit what you think you are capable of. Such as the times when you tell yourself that you will never be able to run more than a 5k or that you will never be a good cook. Those are not the types of boundaries you want to keep. We are all capable of so much more than we can even imagine!
Those are not the types of boundaries that I have been thinking about though. Instead I have been thinking about the types of boundaries that help us define our relationships both personally and professionally. They are the types of boundaries that we set that determine how people treat us because of what we choose to accept and not accept.
By nature I am a giver. I will give give give give give. Even when I don’t want to. Even when it is at a detriment to myself. Even when I feel like I am being taken for granted or being taken advantage of. At the end of the day I really have no one to blame but myself for this happening. I have allowed it to happen. I have given people permission to treat me in this way.
Now keep in mind that I am not talking about anyone treating me horrible. It is nothing like that and it is not any one person in particular. It is just little things. All the times I have said yes when I really wanted to say no. Or the times I have allowed someone to step over my very loosely defined boundary because I didn’t speak up and say that I wasn’t ok with it.
So my plan going forward is to be more true to myself. Be more firm in what I will accept both personally and professionally. Saying no when I want to, saying yes when I want to and communicating with people when I feel like my boundaries have been crossed. I know it is easier said that done but in the end I think it will make me an even happier person! And who doesn’t want more happiness?
Do you struggle with boundaries? Why or why not?