Last week I celebrated my two-year divorceaversay. And by celebrated, I mean that I acknowledged the date and congratulated myself for being where I am today. In a happier place.
Since I am someone who has been through a divorce I naturally have a few pet peeves about some divorce related “issues” so I thought that I would share them with you.
The way that I view divorce is that it is something that you go through, it is not something that defines you.
As far as I am concerned you are either single, married or going through a divorce. Sure there are lots of other relationship statuses out there but for brevity sake, I am going to narrow it done to those three. The reason that I bring this up is because whenever I am filling out paperwork, be it a the doctor’s office, at work, for B’s school, etc there is always a box under marital status that says divorced.
I rarely check that box. More often than not, I check the box that says single. I only check the divorced box if I am filling out paperwork for B and I want them to understand that his Dad and I are not married. That’s it.
As I said before divorce is something I have gone through, it is not who I am now. I am not divorced, I have gone through a divorce. See the difference?
I know it may seem silly to some, but if I never get married again, it seems kind of ridiculous that I would be checking divorced as my status for the rest of my life.
Okay, on to my next pet peeve. You all know I love me some social media. But when people share memes that talk about how they sit down and work stuff out instead of getting a divorce or other similar types of memes, I cringe.
I am sure you have seen what I am talking about but just in case you haven’t here are a few examples.
I get why people post them, I do. No one wants to get a divorce. At least not at the beginning anyway. And no one gets married thinking that it won’t last. But sharing these types of images and quotes is a disservice to everyone.
Relationships are not as simple as the memes would like you to think. At least none that I have been in anyways. And more often than not, if someone is contemplating getting a divorce or has already started the divorce process they have probably already tried to sit down and work things out. Unfortunately, some relationships just can’t be “fixed”.
I have come to realize that some relationships are just not meant to last forever. What may be right for you in your 20’s may be completely wrong for you in your 30’s. And there should be no shame in realizing that the relationship no longer fits you anymore.
Life is too short not to be happy. So choose happiness for yourself no matter what box you check under marital status.