funny « The Everyday Warrior

Book Review: If I Die, Please Bring Cheesecake To My Funeral

by Betsy

Regardless of where you are in your fitness journey, whether you are a newbie or an expert, you are bound to have some mishaps along the way. Some more embarrassing than others and some you might just want to keep completely to yourself.

I just finished reading If I Die, Please Bring Cheesecake To My Funeral by Donloree Hoffman. In the book Donloree candidly shares her misadventures in fitness. And let me tell you it is a laugh out loud quick read with stories that you can identify with and ones that will leave you grateful that they did not happen to you! Whether you are into fitness or not, this book will entertain you the entire way through and leave you wanting more anecdotes from Donloree.

As if reading that book wasn’t enough fun, I was lucky enough to be able to ask Donloree a few questions!

What inspired you to write the book?

So many people fear going to the gym, trying new things, and worry about being the odd one out. I think I have experienced nearly every gym fiasco you could come up with and then some! Besides showing people you can live through ridiculous gym adventures, I wanted people to find themselves in my stories and laugh. We all need to laugh more in life.

The stories in your book are very easy to relate to as everyone has their own share of embarrassing stories, however most of us keep them to ourselves. What made you decide to share them with the world?

My friends and family started to ask me for my ‘fitness stories’ whenever we got together. It seemed my latest ridiculous adventure became the entertainment for the night. I realized people liked hearing about my misadventures and crazy antics.

What is your favorite story from the book?

I love the skiing adventure. I seriously thought I was going to die that day. All I wanted to do was have a happy winter sporting experience with my very athletic husband. It was anything but a happy day for us in couple land. I think some people will never recover from the screaming and sobbing that they witnessed.

The day after was glorious relief as I waved to my husband from the chalet while sipping my third latte of the day.

Have you experienced any recent misadventures in fitness that you can share with us?

My latest fitness misadventures in the gym have been with the men and their ridiculous, unwelcomed coaching. I am not sure why they feel the need to tap me on the shoulder, make me take out my earphones, and then wreck my lifting tempo with their unhelpful comments.

I try to be nice, but sometimes you have to just lay it on the line and tell them a thing or two with a huffy blog post.

What is next for you? Any other books on the horizon?

In 2010, I competed in a Figure Competition and it was a misadventure with a capital M! There was so much I did not know and I spent more hours googling the weirdest things you can imagine while trying to figure out the ins and outs of natural bodybuilding.

It is titled, Bikini or Bust! Adventures of a Fat Girl Turned Figure Competitor.

You can connect with Donloree though her website http://www.donloree.com/ and on Twitter. And of course, you should read her book for yourself! I highly recommend it. Click here to get your own copy!

I was given a free copy of Donloree’s book If I Die, Please Bring Cheesecake to My Funeral for review purposes but all opinions are my own!

Books Fitness Funny

7 Comments »

My First Run in a Running Skirt

by Betsy

Yesterday I finally took the plunge, I went running in a running skirt. I have had the skirt for a couple of weeks now, but part of me was still hesitant to try it out. I mean, who goes running in a skirt?!?!

Once I finally got the running skirt on, I started to warm up to the idea of heading outside in it. Afterall, it’s not very often that I look in the mirror after getting ready for a run and think to myself, “Hey, you look pretty cute!”

Cute, right?

The first thought that crossed my mind once I headed out for my run is that people were going to think I was running in a skirt to get attention. In the last seven years of living in this area, I have NEVER seen ANYONE run in a skirt. The thought only stuck with me for a moment as I am past the age of really being concerned about what other people think about me. I just wanted to see why so many women are in love with running skirts. Now I know why! The skirt was super comfortable! Gone was the annoyance of the running shorts that ride up in the waist or in the legs. I also appreciated the extra ventilation the skirt provided since it was a hot day. By the time I came back from my run, I was pretty much on board with adding running skirts to my running wardrobe. I just needed to make sure of one thing. Did the skirt fly up in the back when I ran and therefore expose my butt to every passing car? I should explain that the skirt has an attached brief to it, but I still don’t need strangers seeing that either. My hubby willingly helped me resolve my last question. I ran fast, slow, with good form and with crazy form and much to my hubby’s dismay the skirt never rose up!

Speaking of men, I feel bad that male runners will not get to experience the freedom of running in a running skirt. Maybe I should invent the running kilt! Oh, crap! I am too late. It turns out they already exist. Don’t believe me? Click here. I would love to hear from any male runners who run in a running kilt!

So what do you think of the running skirt? Have you tried it yet? Why or why not?

Running

5 Comments »

Power Outages No Longer Have Power Over Us

by Betsy

A few weeks ago we had a nasty but short-lived storm pass through the city we live in. Obviously, it was no hurricane Irene but it was strong enough to cause our power to go out. And for whatever reason, whenever we lose power it is ALWAYS out for at least 24 hours. On top of our power outage luck, I have a horrible track record of going grocery shopping the day before we lose power. In the seven years that we have lived in our house, we have had to throw away all the perishables from our fridge & freezer five times due to power outages. I’m just that lucky.

I waited about an hour after the power went out, before I texted the hubby at work to alert him of the news. That was when I discovered I only had one bar of battery left on my phone. Again, I have awesome luck! And no, I do not have a land-line. Why would I ever need one of those? I immediately received a text back from the hubby that said, “I am tired of this! I am buying a generator on my way home!” A small part of me wanted to tell him not to buy one, as generators are expensive, but the side of me who threw away 5 fridges / freezers worth of food said, “Let him get the generator!”

While Brennen and I waited patiently for the hubby to get home (and by patiently I mean, Brennen drove my crazy because he couldn’t watch TV even though if the power had been one he wouldn’t have wanted to) I used the remaining battery life in my phone to find a friend who had power so I could give Brennen his breathing treatment. Brennen has asthma (although not officially diagnosed) and receives pulmicort through a nebulizer on a nightly basis.

When the hubby finally got home, he went to work assembling the generator, putting gas in it etc. After hoisting it onto our back porch the hubby plugged in a few necessities like our fridge, a light, the tv and even our neighbor’s fridge. The hubby was super proud of his accomplishment, he saved his family from the difficulties of a power outage!

And then 5 minutes later . . . the power came back on!

Funny Life

1 Comment »

Saturday Sound Off: Tumblehairs

by Betsy

The wild west has tumbleweeds, and my house has tumblehairs.

This is the product of having two dogs that are part Husky, who seem to shed all year long!

Kodi

: Juno

We have tried taking them to the groomer on a regular basis and brushing them ourselves. But nothing seems to eliminate the tumblehairs.

Instead we are stuck vacuuming on a constant basis and keeping a lint roller handy at all times. Ah, the price we pay for having pets!

What part of being a pet parent drives you crazy?

Funny Life Pets

No Comments »

Warrior Dash Results: Or How I Aged 60 Years

by Betsy

We have already established that I participated in the Warrior Dash.(Click here and here.) Shortly after the race, I checked the Warrior Dash website to see if the results had been posted. Here is what I saw.

Women 70 and over
Place	Name	Bib No	Age	Div	Overall	Total Time	Pace
1	Betsy Mxxxx	46951	92	1	3434	1:03:01.85	20:20/M

That’s right, they have me listed as 92 years old! For the record, I am 32. I showed my hubby and we both got a good laugh out of it.

The next day I got a Facebook message from a reporter, asking if she could interview me about competing in the Warrior Dash at 92 years of age and I got a Facebook message from a complete stranger that said how inspirational I was to her. To top it off, multiple people found my blog by searching, “Betsy M Warrior Dash.” As this point, I decided it was time to put an end my celebrity status and I emailed the administrators at the Warrior Dash website requesting that they fix the error.

But who knows, maybe when I really am 92 years old, I WILL kick some butt at the Warrior dash!

Funny Running

4 Comments »

The Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Know How To Drive A Stick Shift

by Betsy

Shortly after I turned 16 and got my license, I got my first car. It was an old Dodge Charger with high mileage and an ugly gold paint job tinged with rust. To top it off, it had a manual transmission. When I first got the car I couldn’t even move it one foot before I stalled it and caused myself and my passenger (sorry Mom) to violently rock back and forth. Eventually I mastered first gear and finally got out of the driveway. However, I still remember many harrowing moments of stopping on a hill or at a traffic light and praying that I could get the car moving again without stalling it. Looking back at that time in my life, I now consider mastering the stick shift as a rite of passage. That is why it always surprises me to hear of adults who can not drive a manual transmission. So if you do not know how to drive a stick, perhaps one of these 10 reasons will entice you to give it a try!

1. Bragging Rights – There are those who can drive a stick and those who can’t. It always feels good to be part of the group that can.

2. Fun Factor – Driving a stick breaks up the boredom of driving. The only exception to this is if you are driving in stop and go traffic. Then you just end up with a sore left leg from shifting.

3. It’s Empowering - Especially if you are a woman.

4. It’s a Necessity – What if an emergency arises and the only vehicle available is a stick shift? Hey, it could happen.

5. Save Money - Vehicles with a manual transmission typically get better gas mileage than those with an automatic transmission. Even purchasing a vehicle with a stick shift is cheaper than purchasing the same vehicle with an automatic transmission.

6. It’s Therapeutic - Instead of getting angry at the crazy drivers on the road around you, just focus on the symphony of sounds that down-shifting and up-shifting create. Or just down-shift and speed right pass the maniacs.

7. Nostalgia - When the first Model T rolled off of the assembly line it housed a manual transmission. Now vehicles with automatic transmissions far out number the amount of vehicles with manual transmissions.

8. Greater Vehicle Control – If you are a control freak, this is just one more thing you can have control over.

9. Less Breaking - With a stick shift you can reduce the amount of times you need to use your brakes by down-shifting. This is especially helpful in the Winter on slippery roads.

10. To Become a Nascar Driver - This one may be a bit of a stretch, but I am not aware of any cars in Nascar that are automatics.

Funny Life

6 Comments »

The Day I Looked Like a Crazy Person

by Betsy

Have you ever looked around a room and thought to yourself, “Wow, I’m the token crazy person today?” That was how I felt Wednesday when I took Brennen to see Barney at Kids Club Live.

I had high expectations for the day. I even posted on Facebook that it was going to be a Super Dee Duper kind of day. It seemed like a no-brainer, Brennen loves Barney and had a great time at Kids Club Live last year. What could go wrong?

Well, I failed to remember that Brennen has developed a fear of seeing TV characters in person. Somehow I managed to block out our first row experience at Sesame Street Live earlier this year or maybe I convinced myself that Barney would just be different.

It wasn’t different.

While sitting in out third row seat waiting for Barney to come on stage, a slew of characters began walking around the room, mingling with the crowd. As soon as Brennen caught a glimpse of the Cat in the Hat he started crying so loudly that the entire crowd looked over at us. He then put his blankie over his eyes, buried his head in my shoulder and used his grip of steel to cling to me for dear life. I tried desperately to console him, rubbing his back, talking to him, rocking him, etc. Nothing helped. This continued as Curious George, Super-Why and others came out. I could see other parents looking over at me and I knew what they were thinking, “Why don’t you leave, he is obviously scared?!?!” I wanted to say, “He loves Barney, really he does!” But I just smiled nervously.

I was still holding out hope that when Barney finally came on stage, Brennen would be just as excited and mesmerized as he was last year. But instead, he stayed in the same terrified position through Barney’s entire performance except for a few songs where he swayed from side to side while still covering his face and clinging to my shoulder. I asked him on several occasions if he wanted to go home or stay and every time he said he wanted to stay. When Barney left the stage, he sat up, removed his hands and blankie from his eyes, started clapping and said, “Yay, Momma! We did it!.” He then looked around and said, “Where did Barney go?”

On the way home, Brennen played a video that I recorded with my phone of Barney singing the “I love you, you love me” song over and over and over. Just before pulling into our driveway he said, “Can we go see Barney again?”

Parenting

4 Comments »

Family Vacation: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

by Betsy

Day 1:I procrastinated and waited till the day of vacation to pack. It’s not something I would recommend, but it did help pass the time while Brennen and I waited for Andrew to get out of work. The first half of our road trip to Sandusky was rather uneventful but the second half was very entertaining as Google took us to our hotel via the “scenic” route. We drove down some deserted back roads and encountered some interesting “Redneck” towns that favored outhouses over modern plumbing and showcased old boats as lawn ornaments. And last but not least, we got an up close look at a nuclear power plant. It was a drive to remember.

Day 2: Cedar Point was the main attraction on the agenda. It was Brennen’s first trip to an amusement park and he went on his very first carnival ride. So naturally, I forgot the camera at the hotel to document the occasion. (Thank goodness for my phone). Andrew enjoyed some of the coasters (his favorite was The Maverick) and all three of enjoyed some time on the family rides. In the afternoon, we decided to head back to the hotel for a much-needed family nap and as luck would have it we couldn’t remember where we parked. After walking around for an eternity, (I was carrying Brennen, so it was probably only about 5 minutes) we found the car. Brennen celebrated the accomplishment by puking on me . . . twice. Ah, the memories.

Day 3: We took the Jet Express ferry to Put-In-Bay in hopes of relaxing on the beach and playing in the water. What we found instead was a tourist trap similar to Mackinaw Island. Growing up just south of Mackinaw City has caused a run-away-as-fast-as-you-can reaction when I encounter a touristy area. We made the best of it and then high-tailed it on the next ferry back to the mainland. Brennen later rewarded me for his fun experience by dumping my contacts down the drain, which left me wearing my glasses the rest of vacation.

Day 4: For the first time ever I got to mix pleasure with pleasure! Also known as family vacation with running! I woke up at 5am (yes, 5AM!) so I could be ready for The Cedar Point 5k Challenge. Later in the day, despite the weather and our better judgement, we headed to Soak City. We only lasted there for a couple of hours because it became chilly and rainy. Later that night, we went out to dinner at T.G.I. Fridays to celebrate Father’s Day or Poppa’s Day as we like to call it. And on our way back to the hotel we found (with the help of Google and to Brennen’s delight) a McDonald’s with a PlayPlace. For some reason it seems that Ohio is in short supply of McDonald’s that have PlayPlaces. Brennen finds this to be unacceptable.

Day 5: Relaxed, packed and headed home. Brennen did not want to leave. He kept saying, “I want my room.” Meaning the hotel room. Once we got back home we were all pretty exhausted and we took a nap.

Overall we had a great time on vacation! We are already talking about where we should go next year. We are thinking a beach getaway is in order. Any suggestions?

Family Trip

No Comments »

To be Jane Jetson . . .

by Betsy

I love going on vacation, but I dread the packing beforehand. Before Brennen, packing was relatively easy, I packed for myself and the hubby took care of his own packing. If one of us forgot something, we just dealt with it or bought a replacement. It was simple!

On the other hand, packing for myself and Brennen is not so simple. I equate packing for Brennen to having to pack for an additional 10 people. Who knew that someone so small could need so many things?!?! I have to pack multiple outfits for him for each day, just in case. Not to mention, I must have both warm weather clothing and cold weather clothing for each day, regardless of the weather forecast. And let’s not forget toys, books and other items to entertain Brennen while on vacation. In addition to all of those items, Brennen is a very selective eater, so I need to pack a bag of food for him to ensure he eats while we are away. At the end of packing for Brennen, I feel like I have packed our entire house!

If only I could be Jane Jetson. With the press of a button I could have my house fold up into a tiny suitcase. (Hey, George Jetson had a car that did that, why not the house too?) Or better yet, Rosy would do it for me!

Funny Parenting

No Comments »

Marshmallow Morning

by Betsy

I used to be a morning person. But that was before I had Brennen. Now I am not a morning person and I am not a night person. Frankly, between having a 3-year-old and all my other commitments, I just try to survive the day.

But Brennen IS a morning person. Today he came in to our bedroom at 5am. A good 15 minutes before my alarm goes off for work, and 30 minutes before I actually pull myself out of bed. “Morning, Momma!” he happily exclaims! This greeting tells me that not only is he awake earlier than necessary, but he is WIDE awake AND happy about it. I try to encourage him to go back to sleep by cuddling with him in our bed. He starts talking to me about marshmallows and showering me with kisses. The marshmallow comments confused me, but I shrug them off. He then says the one statement that gets me out of bed every time, “I have to go potty, Momma! Now that he pees standing up, he must be monitored at all times during the bathroom process. Let’s just say he is easily distracted and when his head moves, so does his body. You get the picture.

After finishing up in the bathroom, Brennen runs to the dining room. “Look, Momma! Marshmallows!” Sure enough, a giant bag of opened marshmallows sat on the dining room table. Brennen happily takes one out the bag and starts to eat it, grinning from ear to ear.

Funny Parenting

No Comments »

The Everyday Warrior

Turning the everyday into a day of badassery through fitness, fashion & fun.

Book Review: If I Die, Please Bring Cheesecake To My Funeral

My First Run in a Running Skirt

Power Outages No Longer Have Power Over Us

Saturday Sound Off: Tumblehairs

Warrior Dash Results: Or How I Aged 60 Years

Women 70 and over

The Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Know How To Drive A Stick Shift

The Day I Looked Like a Crazy Person

Family Vacation: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

To be Jane Jetson . . .

Marshmallow Morning

Pages

Get posts via Email

Recent Posts

Categories

Race Schedule

I’m Likable!